Mopslinger or: How I mopped 6000 Square Feet the Hard Way (but not the really hard way because I was using Microfiber)

microfiber-mopslingerLet me tell you a story about the time I found myself with 6000 square feet of polished concrete that needed a moppin’ and I was woefully under equipped. I felt like a gunslinger in a western movie that was ready to take on a gang of banditos all by himself. Only my opponent was a banquet hall the morning after my niece’s first birthday party. Cue the theme from the Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

So there I was… face to face with 6000 feet of the dirtiest, ugliest, no good concrete floor this side of the Mississippi. The night before this place was rocking like a saloon in a boom town, you know how wild first birthday parties can be! The morning after it was a sight to behold, enough to make a custodian shake in his boots. It made me as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. We were tasked with cleaning up after the event. I was giving the job, by my sister-in-law who I love taking orders from, of mopping the floor… which came with the quip “isn’t that what you do for a living anyway?” “Yes, proudly I reckon.”

I made a mad dash to the mop closet. Nothing but a mildew covered cotton string mop and a bucket full of dirty water. Talk about taking a knife to a gun fight. I wouldn’t last two seconds armed with that artillery. Then I remembered… years prior to this showdown I sent my mother-in-law a Microfiber Mop System. She never used it. To you guys I may be a mopslinging hero, but to my mother-in-law, I’m, well… just a son-in-law. A wise man once said “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” But I digress.

I jumped on my trusty steed and rode to my mother in laws to grab the mop kit. Eureka! There it was… in the same box I had shipped it in years ago. I armed myself with the mop and headed back over. First, I used the microfiber dust mop to make quick work of the entire space [That’s poetic license, in reality it took quite a while. Mopping up that much space with just one 18″ dust mop pad takes a long time. I was constantly brushing the debris out of the mop to keep going. I was truly outgunned] Then on to the wet mopping. I filled up a bucket full of ammo (hot water) and started firing with my six shooters (wet mop pads) until every square inch of that saloon was clean! [Again, a little bit of poetic license. Mopping that much space with just two wet pads isn’t fun. Ideally you’d use a much larger mop handle and frame, like 36″ or 48″ and have lots of pads to swap out as they got saturated with soil.] After I The banquet hall had never been so clean!

I was grinning like a weasel in a hen house as I rode off into the sunset.


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